Hell is gone and heaven’s here; there’s nothing left for you to fear. Shake your ar*e come over here - now scream!

Now that’s what I call entertainment and obviously the public and the cognoscenti agree. Mon cher. The rights have been separated from the wrongs and Miss Daisy will be your rock of ages. In a startling and unprecedented conclusion to the 2008 season, Team Miss Daisy has won an award. Yes’m!!! Ain’t that the truth.

Like all the top performers, we were naturally unable to attend the ceremony but had we the slightest inkling that our efforts would have been recognised, we too would have done a Ricky Gervais and filmed a video of thanks whilst in bed with George Michael, even though our performances in 2008 possibly owed more to Andrew Ridgley.

Notwithstanding our natural modesty, it was perhaps inevitable that our skills in failing to win races (and thus making others look really good) have at long last been recognised and Team Miss Daisy has been awarded the coveted and unique token of appreciation that is the MGCC PBIC 2008 Entertainer of the Year Award. Crack open the Babycham. You can’t make it up, we have actually won something.

Some can win races (he may be good he may be out of sight - (most of them are after the first lap) but he cannot be here so come around tonight) but it’s the way that you do it that counts! What is this sport, if not entertainment?

Whilst, at first glance, it would be an easy mistake to assume that Miss Daisy and crew have not the slightest idea what they are doing, to those in the know, such skills have been recognised as “entertainment” and “a touch of variety” so we are proud and gracious recipients of such an accolade. We are indeed humbled and honoured to be in the company of genuine national treasures in the field of entertainment and variety; the likes of Michael Barrymore, a’wright, The Krankies and the true daddies, The Chuckle Brothers. We are not worthy.

This is indeed a momentous occasion in the short history of Team Miss Daisy and in true “showbiz” fashion, our gushing acceptance speech (had we actually turned up) would not have been complete without unlimited outpourings of sycophantic gratitude to everybody who has worked so hard to make us the success that we are (where did we finish - was it eighth?). So, in the words of Dermot O’Leary (already we’re name dropping) in no particular order, our thanks to:

1. Webmeister, AKA Race Widow, Dani, without whom this website would make even less sense than it does already.
2. Mr Fix-it, Sicknote Sellers.
3. Dangerous Dave on Spanners.
4. Marcus The Musician.
5. Barney.
6. Fellow racers: No Pain No Blaine, Vote Piggott, The Fenn Man, Jonesey Senior and everybody else who has helped us in this long but worthwhile struggle.

We salute you all!

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