Park life - it’s just a blur!

With the season upon us, Hoke and Miss Daisy felt it appropriate to get some guidance for their debut at this circuit and who better to ask than our celebrity friend, Damon? Surely, he could get us into the P1 Club?

No, we are only winding you up, Team Miss Daisy, entertainers that we are, sought advice from a different Damon. Having encountered ongoing problems with our power, our Think Tank concluded that the way forward was to replace the fuel lines and petrol tank and all this was done by our new spanner man, Jason, and his trusty colleague, Dipstick. Sadly, the scrutineers weren’t overly impressed with their handy work which set the tone for the day. Indeed, just like F1, most of our day was spent, not on the track, but in the corridors of power. Having totted it up, just 8 minutes was spent racing, and the best part of 6 hours before happy Ron (why does he bother?) and his fellow disciplinarians.

Although everyone liked Miss Daisy’s new dress, fitted the night before by Neil “Growler” Sellers, the scrutineers weren’t overly impressed with the 3 inches of rubber connecting Daisy’s pipe work. Nor the fact that the tank itself, which they agreed was a work of art, was exposed. Indeed, Daisy was told to cover up (which is a first) so our team got to work whilst we spoke to the clerk who confirmed that we would be allowed to qualify out of time, as long as the work was done.

Special thanks are due to Simon Byrne of Team Proper Bo! Racing, who whilst laying claim to conceiving Miss Daisy, also lent us copious amounts of aluminum tape, so by the time Daisy was back before the scrutineers, her pipes were so shiny they looked as though they had been given a good going over by xxxx xxxxxxx [this comment has been removed on the grounds of public decency!], in the nicest possible way. The Team was also ably assisted by Lunar Racing, who we thank for the universal loan of tools whilst Mr Sellers co-ordinated the effort.

With the scrutineers happy, back we went to see the clerks only to be told that having missed all qualifying sessions, Daisy would be on her way home as there was now no possibility of us taking to the track. Tense negotiations followed and try as we might, it appeared there was no other way as the girls and boys of the MGCC maintained their stance, seemingly to the end. Just as we were coming to the conclusion that modern life was rubbish, we got an opportunity for the great escape, being granted the option to qualify during the MGCC South Midlands Track Parade at lunch time, as long as we didn’t overtake anybody at any stage; so normal race conditions for us. Two minutes later, we were following a motley crew of half a dozen MGs and a Rover with an exhaust the size of a drain pipe; not sure how that got out there but we have never been ones to check eligibility. With everyone satisfied, we took up our customary position at the back of the grid, believing that things could only get better.

Come race time, Daisy had a good start and was soon past some of the tail enders, having, what we thought at the time, was a cracking battle with cars ranging from MGBs to TFs and TCs. Sadly, this wasn’t to last as after just 4 laps, our all new improved petrol pumps packed up, leaving us forlorn at the side of the track, with no distance left to run.

Feeling tender and assuming we would soon be back on the M1/A1, it seemed that our herculean day was over. However, if you thought that this was it, you are on your own as further problems were due to arise when we confronted in the paddock by a person who, those with less manners than Miss Daisy, may describe as a charmless man who wished to take issue with the team, and then lodged a protest suggesting that Hoke’s car control was less than exemplary.

This is a low that we had never suffered before but back we went before the Gorillaz for a thorough investigation of our driving standards. After another 3 hours, the good, the bad and the queen concluded that there had been no monkey business on our part. Neither Hoke nor Daisy had done anything wrong at all and it was not our fault that our complainant had taken to the grass in his failed efforts to overtake the hippy hearse. For someone who sells lawnmowers for a living, we would have thought that a little grass tracking would be natural but apparently not. Oh Deere! The moral of the story is, we guess, if you don’t like being overtaken by a Montego Estate, perhaps you should stick to coffee and TV. OK TF?

Whilst we were being otherwise entertained, Simon Cripps was declared the race winner and James Walpole the winner of Class A, and our congratulations to them.

All in all, a disappointing day for Team Miss Daisy. For the future, we have a trip to the West, to that country house that is Oulton Park in a few weeks time, when hopefully these demon days will be behind us.

Race Results

Fastest Lap: Dan Ludlow 1:25:366, 82.54 mph

Class A Results

Fastest Lap: James Walpole

Download:
Donington Park Race Booklet

Slide Show

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